I remember dreading to look in the mirror to see how things look down there after birthing my second baby… the feeling of my heart sinking… and wondering if this was normal.
I didn’t know things were going to change and that it was normal for change to happen.
But how could change NOT happen?
This was all a part of grieving… grieving the death of maidenhood. Then, acceptance… acceptance of motherhood.
It is GOOD to grieve. Allow yourself to sit in the feelings of what was and what is now. Allow yourself to feel the feelings. Accept. Let go of your maiden body. Embrace metamorphosis… the transition to a mother.
Then carry the badge of motherhood proudly, knowing that your mother body is beautiful and breathtaking, sacrificial and experienced.
The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can embrace and learn to love the new version of yourself and the new season in life.
If you fight it, you will not find belonging in maidenhood, nor motherhood. You’ll be stuck in the in-between… in the chrysalis. You’ll miss out of the growth, the experience and beauty, wisdom and depth that this new season can bring.
Expect external and internal changes to your genitalia after childbirth. And after each baby.
Different is normal.
Pain in the first few weeks of postpartum can be normal.
Persistent, lingering discomfort or pain is not. Incontinence, painful sex, and prolapse are also not normal. With these issues, it would be wise to seek advice from experts, such as pelvic floor therapists, midwives, body workers, and wise women.
Did you experience this? I felt so alone because no one had ever mentioned this to me before. Once I began to bring this up to other women, I found out that other women also experienced these changes. They were also wondering if these changes were normal and if others experienced them too.
If you’re a birth worker, these are important conversations to have with women.
